Seven Rules of Life: Crack The Code Of Human Existence And Get Busy Building Your Empire by Hutton George

Author:Hutton, George [Hutton, George]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-08-19T16:00:00+00:00

Relationships – No Magic

There seems to be a strong correlation between our belief in magic and the amount of potentially negative opportunity costs. Perhaps magic is the wrong word. Maybe something like crossing our fingers and hoping for the best. This does make a certain bit of sense, especially from an evolutionary psychology point of view. For most of our history, our choices were largely shaped by our environment. Before just a few decades ago, very few people had the need to make big decisions. For most of history, it was a legitimate strategy to go with the flow. But if you do that today, particularly in relationships, there are three negative things that can happen. It seems the fourth path, of having a relatively stable and happy lifelong relationship, is becoming less statistically probable. In statistics, there is a term called confusing variables . When you misunderstand the number of variables in any system. There are still the same number of variables that govern whether one can create and sustain a successful relationship, but they are skewed somewhat. In the past, getting into, and working on relationships from an autopilot mindset was usually good enough. Today, it will not likely be. In the past, people tended to live in much more stable societies. Social proof tended to keep relationships together. Breaking up, having multiple partners, if that did happen it was kept secret. Today it is celebrated on social media. Very much like our hunger. Before, autopilot behavior kept us safe and healthy. Today, autopilot obedience to hunger can kill us. Similarly, previous autopilot relationship behavior was enough. Today, autopilot relationship behavior can destroy us. There are three common negative results of autopilot behavior both in getting into relationships, and autopilot behavior of maintaining relationships.

First Negative

The first one is to get into a relationship successfully enough, but then assume it can coast on autopilot. These tend to happen to couples who get into relationships early and organically. They meet, they date, they decide to get married, perhaps have children. But then one party simply assumes the relationships is on cruise control, and they get on with their lives. This would have worked in the past. Social proof would have all their friends in similar relationships. The men would get together and complain about their wives. The women would get together and complain about their husbands. Both would accept this as just another part of life one must deal with. But suppose when the men got together to complain about their wives, half of them were happy because they had ex-wives? That they were dating younger and more exciting women? Suppose when the women got together, half of them were much happier now they'd been freed of their burden? That they were living much more enjoyable lives? This kind of social proof tends to feed on itself over the generations. Worst case is one partner feels everything is going smoothly, only to find their husband or wife of ten years is suddenly leaving them.

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